The hitman & me

One day, I opened my inbox to find this bizarre message:

Dear Lucky,

                Congratulations! You’ve won a one-of-a-kind opportunity of hiring a hit man to assassinate any one you want.

                  For more information Please e-mail us at opportunities @ dreams come true.com

 Regards;

Dream -fulfillers.

I gasped and till now I don’t know whether it was a gasp of surprise, irritation or joy!

After a long time of thinking, I e-mailed them back:

“Dear Dream Fulfillers,

                First, I want to thank you for that great opportunity. Also, I want to inform you that I’ll seize it.

    Regards.”

After several contacts with the ‘Dream Fulfillers’, they fixed me an appointment with the hit man.

I got there on time. I found him waiting for me and GOD! He was stiff, fierce, and strong like those we see on TV. I immediately said to myself ‘Yeah, he’s the one ’.

I came closer to the table where he was sitting, said ‘Hi’ hesitantly, introduced myself, sat in the chair opposite to him. He kept his expression flat but also he kept staring at me in a creepy way. So, trying to put an end to that embarrassing situation, I started talking:

Me: Well, they told me you’re the best.

Him (trying to put on some modesty): Oh, no. They’re just exaggerating. I just do my job. So, who’s our fellow?

Me: Our fellow?!

Him: Yeah, you know (lowering his voice that I barely heard), the one you wanna……. Kill.

Me (chuckling): OH! You don’t have to lower your voice. It’s not gonna be ‘a real murder’. I just want you to kill the quitter inside me.

Him: WHO?!!!!!!

Me: The quitter inside me, you know, the one who always pushes me to say ‘I quit’, ‘I give up’, ‘I can’t take it any more’, stuff like that.

Him (still gazing at me in disbelief as if he was dreaming): Oh, Miss. I’m sorry but I can’t do it.

Me: What?! Aren’t you supposed to be the best?

Him (giving his modesty away): Yeah, I’m the best but believe me neither me nor any of my buddies can do this.

Me: But…

Him (interrupting): I’m sorry, Miss. But, you know, time is money and I have other stuff to deal with.

HE JUST LEFT.

I came home with confusion capturing my mind. How is he supposed to be the best and can’t do it?! And what did he mean by saying “Neither me nor any of my buddies can do this?” Was I asking for a ‘mission impossible’?!

Interrupting the flow of my thoughts, the phone rang.

Me: Hello!

Caller: Good Evening, Miss! This Mrs. Hope from the ‘Dream Fulfillers’. I’m just calling to check on your meeting with the hit man. I hope everything went right.

Me: Well, I’m afraid it didn’t.

Hope (in a calm, professional way): Why? Did he irritate you or something?

Me: Not exactly. He just said he couldn’t do it.

Hope: Excuse me, Miss but he’s the best. Did he tell you why he can’t do it?

Me: No, he just said he can’t.

Hope: Excuse me, Miss but can I ask you who was supposed to be the target?

Me: Well, it was the quitter inside me.

Hope (relieved): Oh, that makes sense.

Me (starting to lose my temper): What’s that supposed to mean?

Hope: Miss, he can’t kill something that doesn’t exist, I mean, there’s no quitter inside you.

Me: Oh, you’re now saying you know me better than I do!!!!!!

Hope (in a friendly, non-professional way): Dear, there’s no quitter inside you. It’s just your fear.

Me: My fear?! My fear of what?!

Hope: Your fear to face life, failure, criticism, rejection or even success.

Me: Then kill my fear!!!!!!!

Hope: I’m afraid we can’t do that either. Actually, no one on Earth can do this except you.

I tried to think of something to say but it was like my mind was gone, I just could find nothing to say. All I can remember about that moment is me posing like a statue with my mouth held open.

Then after a couple of minutes, I regained my consciousness & faintly said:

‘So, there’s no way you can help me?’

Hope: Dear, I’m sorry. The only one that can help you is deep inside YOU.