Episode 4...The Countdown Theories!!

It’s exactly 23 days to my long-awaited, highly-anticipated graduation project final presentation. And to anybody with a minimal level of common sense, these days should be the most emotionally-overwhelming days of my life; makes sense, huh?!

Well, here’s a newsflash… My senior year is finally counting down, “hopefully Insha’Allah!!”, and I blandly feel nothing WHATSOEVER!! Seriously!! I’m not sure if anybody is following the series in the first place but if you take a look at Episode 1, you’ll find out it was basically about me getting so emotional on my very first Senior-Year day. And now that everything is eventually wrapping up, I walk down the same hallways I've been strolling for almost five years emotionlessly, thoughtlessly & most probably… soullessly!!

Contemplating this “me turning into a soulless zombie” thing, I managed to develop a couple of theories that might subtly help explain this emotional paralysis I’m experiencing regarding this graduation thing.

-     Theory #1: Maybe it’s all because my final university year has so worn me out I can’t wait to be done with it; the thing that has to totally strip me off any sort of nostalgic or even joyful feelings.

-     Theory #2: Maybe it’s all because I’m not “practically” done with my senior year. Yes, the final exams are over & all but still, I've got this huge “Operation Graduation Project” ahead of me. And that’s why I can’t feel I’m gonna miss anything about uni cause simply, it’s not over yet.

P.S. If that theory proves to be the right one, this paralysis will burst into blazing emotional flames on the awaited presentation day. (I’ll keep you, whoever you are, updated on that!!)

-     Theory #3: Maybe it’s all because I’m not an emotional kind of person in the first place, I mean, in what universe have I ever been emotional or even sentimental!! Of course I’ve had my fair share of sentimental moments and emotional turmoil but that has never been the norm so why I’m so panicking over this!!

-     Theory #4: Maybe, just, maybe it’s all temporary & I’ll soon enough get my fair share of that nostalgic, post-senior-year drama. And if such theory holds… I terribly apologize for bothering you with my nonsensical theories!! J

May every Senior enjoy what’s left of their Senior Year =)

Episode #3...In Class!!

Have you ever experienced a boring class?! A lot, huh?!

Well, I have to admit that during my four-and-a-half-year journey in uni, I’ve been in more boring classes than interesting or even normal ones. And since this journey is soon coming to an end (hopefully!!), I’ve decided to take up the endeavor of contemplating a boring unbearably energy-draining class.

As for the professor, he’s monotonic, slow-paced & he tirelessly continues to speak some enigmatic geeky barely understandable barely audible terms.

As for my fellow senior veterans, well, I can gladly say that almost everyone has set foot on La La Land their own way; some have started casual chit-chats with their neighbors, others have opened their books starting an avid reading session & as for the majority, well, they’re daydreaming!! (Oh, there’s one guy over there that’s actually dreaming; YES, in his sleep!!)

“Oh I almost forgot… everybody, including me, fakes absolute focus with a subtle series of nods as the professor turns his head & throws a look at the surrounding vicinity.”

And as for me… Well, I used to be one of the daydreamers but today I’ve decided to switch course. Today I’ve decided to contemplate & write.

But here’s the most basic question… Is it our fault, as students I mean, that we lose focus letting our minds wander off in such boring barely beneficial classes?! Or is it our professors’ fault for they don’t raise any interest at our end in what they’re explaining in class?!

If you want to hear my humble opinion, I think it’s everybody’s fault. It’s the professors’ fault for it never occurred to them  to put themselves in our shoes & think of what can really raise our interest so we can be avid listeners in class & most importantly avid learners after class.

It’s the university’s administration’s fault for they have never thought of setting an effective transparent filtering & selection process of potentially talented personnel who can do well as professors, as teachers and above all as mentors.

It’s our fault cause every day we knuckle under to the status quo desperately hoping that someone else would come & change it one of those days.

And last but not least, it’s my fault cause I’m writing this in class!!

May every senior enjoy their classes!! =)

Episode 2...Growing Young!!

A couple of days ago, I got to see the newly-recruited crew of that student NGO I used to work with (I had the best time of my life working with that NGO by the way :)). Anyway, I scanned those young faces hoping to find a recognizable one but it was just in vain; they all looked new to me. They looked all ebullient with joy all over their faces but still, those joyful faces looked new to me!! Looking at those young joyful faces, I got overwhelmed with “a” feeling. Actually, I still don’t know what that feeling was; you can call it an indescribable feeling or whatever but that doesn’t change the fact that I was overwhelmed. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I’m oblivious of the reason behind that “indescribable” feeling; I’m actually so aware of it. I mean, thinking of how dynamic life is is so fascinating. One year, I was working in that place with a group of passionate people & the next year, a new generation takes over with even more passion that we happened to have… Just fascinating!!

All overwhelmed with eyes on the verge of welling up, I thought about sharing this moment with a couple of my friends. Well, one of them completely understood how I felt, she actually was as overwhelmed as I was or even more!! The other one…well, let me tell you that what she told me is actually the main reason why I’m writing this right now. She told me with poise all over her face that it was so normal for me not to recognize any of these faces; this newly-recruited crew is actually crammed with freshmen & sophomores with a little minority of juniors & seniors and as you know I’m an…old veteran!! She looked at me & continued: “Nada, did you forget?! We’re the eldest amongst all those surviving students!! Nada, we’ve grown old!!”

Although I was totally aware of that fact, her words descended upon me like a bomb. At that moment, I realized that when it comes to the fact that it’s time for us to get promoted from being “young adults” to “adults”, I’m completely in denial. I mean, how on earth am I supposed to surrender to that off-putting social convention that assumes I’m not as young as I used to be when I joined uni while I actually feel the same deep down in my heart & soul?! Yes, I know that with being on the verge of graduating & getting involved in what they call “the real life”, I need to be much more responsible than I used to be. I know that & I totally respect it but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my share of fun, act recklessly every once in a while or hit the amusement park; for God’s sake, I’m only 21!!

You know what, all I’m cordially asking is not to be told that I’ve grown old every second. You know why…cause I’m NOT old; I’m still young & I’ll be young as long as my heart & soul are young. I’ll be young as long as I’m feeling young. I’ll be young no matter what my birth certificate or my national ID says. And here I am conveying this message to every fellow senior student… “Buddy, don’t you ever let anybody make you feel old when you still feel young inside. Don’t you ever let anybody take your youth away. Don’t you ever let anybody kill the youngster inside you. And proudly remember…you’re a senior & you’re young” :)

Episode 1...Memories!!

Senior year has officially started!! And like any other senior student, I got showered with swirls of memories as I tapped my first steps into uni. Before that, I got hit with a swirl of disbelief: “I’m a SENIOR!!Me?! I’ve really spent complete four years in this place?!” I shook my head in disbelief as I strolled down the hallways. And in a heartbeat , the past four years started to flashback!!

I can clearly recall my first day at uni, it’s like it was just yesterday. It was a Ramadan day. Fasting was wearing me out let alone how unconfident & insecure I felt. Yet, I tried my best at faking confidence; I walked through the iron gates with my newly-bought sunglasses on. I think I wore a white shirt & a red cardigan with a pair of blue jeans; I also remember I piled my hair into a bun, but that doesn’t matter after all.J Anyways, I walked in with a fake confident look on my face & started scanning the place, typically me!! I can’t recall exact images but I can say I saw a whole life in there; I saw people laughing out with their friends, catching up on what they missed during the long summer. I saw other people running or hopping or jogging or whatever you wanna call it who were hurrying to the lecture halls. And of course, there were those bemused goofs, AKA freshmen, who were spinning around in circles not knowing where to go. But the most important thing to remember was how optimistic I was that day, you can say “Little miss sunshine” would have been very descriptive!! I had those aspirations of not only becoming a great local engineer but also a great well-known scientist. I actually visualized myself stepping on the stage of the Stockholm concert hall to receive my Nobel Prize. With a dreaming mind, an aspiring soul & a heart full of hope, the journey kicked-off…

In fact, it was a hell of a journey, in an excruciating way & yet I can’t say it ripped me of my dreams. Of course, my dreams have undergone a few changes in some sort of a realistic way but still, that “Change the world” dream is still is chasing me, the thing that I’m really grateful for.

 My mind declared an end to the joyful flashback it started a minute ago as I reached the door of the lecture hall. I took a deep breath, pulled myself together & with a doubtful heart, a surviving soul & a mind full of memories, I stepped into my first senior-year tutorial!!

My Senior year...Prologue!!

A couple of years ago, I first watched my now favorite movie “Julie & Julia”. I was so inspired by the lead character “Julie” I decided to start a new blog where I write regularly. It took me a while thinking what I should be writing about till I decided on “Happiness”; in other words, I decided to write about my journey of pursuing happiness. I turned my computer on, took a deep breath & inaugurated a new blog entitled “The Happiness Project”. The funny thing is, if you checked that blog right now, in case it’s still valid, you’d find nothing but a small intro!! You know why?! Cause simply I wrote nothing but this small intro. I was so taken away by this ongoing vortex of life I couldn’t really stick to the project I excitedly embarked on.

A couple of days ago, I accidently found Julie & Julia showing on TV & I don’t have to say that the excitement was aroused all over again but this time it was pretty different. This time I didn’t think about starting a whole new blog or anything; I just thought about the idea of being committed to writing regularly about something, well, about my life mainly. 

 “But what is so interesting about my life i could write about?!” I bemusedly wondered. And then…EUREKA!! I should write about my senior year, yes I should!! Senior year is some sort of a milestone in everybody’s life. I mean, senior year is the gate to real life with all its hustle & bustle; all we have to do is just cross that gate. Of course, it’s not as easy as it sounds especially for me. And that’s why I decided I should write about it; about me crossing the gate…The gate to real life!!

A moment of revelation!!!

“Stay strong. Never break down, NEVER.” That’s the one sentence we grow up finding everybody telling us; at home, at school, in the media. Everywhere. We grow up thinking that we’re gonna get severely disgraced if we ever cried, snapped, broke or backed down. And if we ever find anybody doing any of this, we automatically call them quitters, losers, chickens.. you name it!!

I myself have grown up like this. I’ve always thought that crying is a shame, that breaking down is disgraceful, that staying strong every minute in every hour is what I should be fighting for all my life. This is how I perceived things till that one foggy day when I officially hit the rock bottom & pal, when you hit the rock bottom, breaking down is your only place to go, tears are your safest place to hide & anger is inevitably your best friend. Then & only then, I experienced what they call a moment of revelation; it was when I realized that God designed us with the ability to shed tears for a reason, that we’re all made from  hearts &  souls not of concrete or titanium. Experiencing this insightful moment, I realized that those little seconds when we act like crazies, those seconds when we break down & cry like new-borns, or act out of character are the reason why the human species is still surviving sanely or pseudo-sanely in that universe.

So, here’s what I propose, if you feel you can’t take it anymore, just blow off steam and do it your own way. If you feel like crying, don’t shut your eyes; let them well up with as many tears as they can. If you feel like screaming, scream as loud as you can but make sure you hurt nobody J If you feel like dancing, turn your favorite music on & go rock n’ roll . And you know what, always, always remember that you’re a delicate human, that we’re all designed to get vulnerable every once in a while. Keep in mind that even super heroes have their own vulnerable moments cause at the end of the day, they’re humans with hearts & souls not titanium lifeless statues.

May you all find happiness!! =)

Say what you need to say!!

I’ve always had tremendous admiration for those so-called unusual jobs. As a teenager, I wanted to be an astronaut, a nuclear scientist & an actress. But there’s one profession that fascinates me the most; whenever I find someone pursuing this profession, an overwhelming feeling of wonderment takes over me. Actually, I’ve realized that all my favorite movie heroines pursue the same profession. You know what this profession is…It’s the profession of writing!!

My story with writing started about 12 years ago when I first tried to write my first song. Actually, I wrote that song not for the sake of writing but for the sake of singing. Earlier that day, my teacher auditioned me for the school concert & I totally blew it so when I went home, I wrote a song on my blackboard & I tried to sing it. The funny thing is, I’ve never written songs nor sung in public since that day!! Then I turned out to be an assiduous reader; I literally read anything that came into my hands, ANYTHING!! And the more I read, the more I fell for those dazzlingly smart insightful creatures called writers.

I grew up, joined college, survived my freshman year with all its crazy complications & then moved to the toughest year in my whole life; my sophomore year. As a sophomore, I had so many challenges; academically, socially & personally. I needed to find a way to blow off my angry thoughts, to express my confusion, to motivate myself & my peers. At this moment, I grabbed my pencil & I simply let on my thoughts onto a piece of paper.

A couple of months later, I found a friend with whom I shared the passion for writing. Thanks to this friend, I started this blog the thing that motivated me to write more & more.

Honestly speaking, I don’t if I’m a good writer or not; I’m not even sure if I have the potential to be a good writer. But you know what, I’ll never stop writing, at least for now, cause writing not only saved me when I hit the rock bottom but aslo gave me the courage to say what I need to say & that’s what really matters in life.

May you all say what you need to say!! =)

Don't worry...Wake up!!

You're lying in your bed. You open your eyes; a whole new day has come. And...your mind kicks off with some thoughts. So, what about those thoughts?!Have you ever thought about them; the thoughts that pop into your mind as you wake up every morning?! 

Well, I have and you know what I've found?! I've found that the first thing that comes to my mind as I wake up is worry. Every day, every morning I wake up & I'm worried. I'm worried about showing up late. I'm worried about not being good enough. I'm worried about failure, about myself getting disappointed. I'm worried about being fat or not being too healthy. I'm so worried that I'm afraid of getting off my bed.Simply, I'm worried.  

So,you must be thinking now how does it feel?! In no more than one word, awful. It feels AWFUL. It feels like you're being brutally hit & you're totally helpless. It feels like you've become a big fat disappointment yourself, although you're most probably not. It feels bad. And there's no doubt that those thoughts of worry hold me back from doing what I'm supposed to do. So, I totally know that those thoughts are complete life-demolishers & yet I keep them in my mind, you think I'm such an idiot, right?!

Well, maybe you were right but not any more because I hereby decide that this is gonna change; that there won't be worried thoughts any more. So, you must be thinking now "mmm...So what are you gonna do anyways?!". Well, I may not be able to stop them but I'm for-surely able to defeat them. And here comes a decision; from now on if I wake up in the morning worried that I can't, I'll rapidly think that I can,I'll give it a shot & Insha'Allah I'm gonna do it. From now on, if I wake up thinking that everything is a mess, I'll look at the bright side; I'm awake, I'm alive & even if things are messy, I'll fix them. From now, I'll wake up & think happy thoughts; I'll think about my mom, my friends, my family,a beautiful song or I'll even think about my favorite shirt. =)

Honestly speaking, I don't know if this would work but again, I'm gonna give it a shot and wake up.

May you all find happiness =)

Start Fresh!!

"So, this time I'm starting fresh. I mean it, I'm turning on a blank new leaf." That's what I keep telling myself whenever things go wrong & it seems like I've hit the rock bottom again.  I wake up the next morning willing to start fresh but things get messy again to ruin my fresh start so I decide on another fresh start but things keep getting messy until I get disappointed, decide to give up on trying & surrender to the status quo.
But here's the question, am I really starting fresh?! Is it a true fresh start?! Do my trials measure up to a true fresh start?! Do I really do what it takes to deserve another chance?! I don't know, well, I do know that some of my trials aren't hard enough, that I don't really fight for a decent start. I do know that the tiniest problems seem to me like huge obstacles that get me put my armor down & stop fighting procrastination.

So...Right here, right now, I decide to have a fresh start; a true one. I decide to wrestle my procrastinating fearful self. Yes, I don't know for sure if I'm going to win the fight or not but at least I'm gonna try and if it didn't work out this time...I'd  try again. If it didn't work out this time...I'd start fresh.
May you all find happiness =)

The best is yet to come!!

Life is full of surprises; a thought that popped into my mind yesterday, life never fails to surprise us. You think you've been to the most beautiful place in the world, and then you go to another place & you surprisingly find out that it's more beautiful. You think you've heard the most exquisite piece of music, then another magical piece takes you by surprise. People think they've discovered all the territories, then Columbus discovers America. They think they've known everything about Physics, then Einstein develops the theory of relativity. The whole world thinks a nation is doomed as a third-world country, then its people arise to show the entire world the noblest revolution in the modern history. You see, life never fails to surprise us. 

That actually reminded me of an Egyptian soap I once watched; the heroine ended the show saying that if we want happiness, we should live our life awaiting something good to happen. We should believe that we haven't lived our best moment yet, that we haven't said the best words yet, that we haven't been to the most beautiful place yet.That means one thing; if we wanna live happily, we have to believe that the best is yet to come.

May you all find happiness =))

About a martyr!!

Since the 25th of January,2011, everybody has been talking politics but today, I'm not talking politics, I'm talking humanity!! Today, two Engineering students passed away after being shot in Tahrir & two days ago, a medical student & a Sheikh were shot dead. 

At that point, an extremely important question arises, what in the world have they done to end up shot & dead?! They've been demonstrating, that doesn't make criminals out of them; even if they were criminals, shouldn't they be tried before being executed?! 

Those people, those martyrs, had a life just like anyone of us, they laughed, they cried, they ate, they studied, they loved their families, they hung out with their friends, they were....HUMANS!!

So everybody, let's mourn for those martyrs, offer our condolences to their families & friends, express our grief & sadness. Let's condemn those outrageous murders & condemn those who committed them. Let's pray for the martyrs  & pray for our country. Let's pray for freedom, for a better tomorrow.

May God bestow his blessings & mercy upon our heroes...Our Martyrs!!

About regrets

The great Anis Mansour once wrote about a French lady who had told him that we're all living in a forest of question marks & exclamation marks. If you think thoroughly about it, you'll find that this is an absolute baffling truth about life; we keep asking & asking & wondering & asking, we keep going through these endless circles of Whys especially when bad events roll down.  We keep asking "Why did this happen to me?!" or "Why didn't this happen to me?!" whatever we wanted that thing to happen or not to happen it's still a WHY that we ask, it's still a BECAUSE that we're waiting for. Events keep rolling & we keep searching for a BECAUSE but here's a question, are we really gonna be satisfied when we get that "BECAUSE"?! Does it matter if we get it?! Does it even help?!

Well, sometimes it's a massive help when we know the reasons so we can save the day & make things better but what if things can't be made better?! What if it's out of our control, does the BECAUSE still help?! In that case, pursuing the reasons takes you to the level of regretting. And when you go through regretting, you're going through one of the toughest cycles you might go through in your life; an endless tiring circle of Whys & IF Onlys. And when it comes to regretting, I'm a master!!

Since I've been a little kid, suffering regrets has been my daily habit. I regretted everything, I regretted my acts, my words, my moves, my laughs & even my tears. I regret saying this & not saying that. I regretted saying Yes & I regretted saying No. I lived my everyday life doing nothing but regretting. I suffered & I suffered & I suffer till this very moment. But this time, my suffering took me to a very different area, it took me to the area of "why the heck am I regretting in the first place, isn't that supposed to be my destiny?!". Yes, I'm responsible for my own choices but when it's not a choice that I made, when I get embarrassed stammering in public or when I babble the wrong answer when I already know the right one, it has nothing to do with me choosing it's just my destiny. Seems reasonable, huh?! And yet, I'm still regretting!!

A Priceless Moment

She looked very pretty, both did actually. They looked so happy; I never saw them that happy before. I was happy too, happy like never before. And why don't I get happy?! It's my big sister's wedding, I have every right to be happy, so does she & so does our mom. Actually, mom got every right to be the happiest person in the whole world; her big daughter is getting married. After all these years of hard work, of being there for better or worse, of good times & bad times, all these years of arguing, of laughs & tears, of reprimand & praise, of success & of failure, after all these years, her big daughter is making the most beautiful bride on this planet with her beautiful white gown, her fluffy white veil & her glamorous flashing smile. Finally, she's assured she has always been, despite people's criticism & so-called advice, on the right track. Today, she feels she's being rewarded for everything she's done. Yes, mom, you got every right to be happy, you deserve it, you actually earn that happiness.

I got drifted away by those thoughts; I was taken away as if I was flying, as if I was dreaming. Then, something brought me back to earth, a dinging sound as if someone clanged on a glass & then my name was called; it was my turn to give my bridesmaid speech.

I stood still for a minute trying to gather myself. I scanned the happy faces of our relatives & friends searching for the happiest of them; my mom's. I found it, beautifully glowing & happy, her happy eyes met mine & she gave me the encouraging look I've always known, I've always loved; I started talking: "Hello, dear friends & family. First, I wanna thank you all for coming today, it's really great we got to share our happiness with you. We hope you are having a blast at the wedding & we wish you everlasting happiness. Well,; ever since my sister & me were little kids, many of you have been asking us how we hang in with all those life struggles, troubles & adversities. You ask us what that thing is that makes us go through adversities with a serene smile & a strong heart. Today with all pleasure, I'm telling you our secret; it's LOVE. I remember my sister's first day at middle school; she was nervous about going to a new school, meeting new people, starting a whole new phase of her life. I remember mom grabbing her hands, looking into her eyes, I remember every word she told her then; she told her that life is always changing whether it's a good change or a bad one but it's changing after all  & we have to cope with that change. She told her that our only way to cope with that change is to love it, even if it's bad, we should search for the good in it & love it. We should who we are or who we turned out to be, we should love those who stand by our side, those who are always there for us. We should grasp every chance of love or happiness. And that's what I'm telling you today, embrace that priceless moment; embrace that moment for it's a moment of love, a moment of happiness, embrace it with all you got , love it with all your hearts, love each other, be happy. And don't forget… to enjoy the wedding." 

I love it bittersweet

I love it when I'm having this bittersweet feeling; when my heart is a little agonized, my eyes are welling up with tears yet my lips are curved into a weak delicate smile. I love those little things that make me experience that amazing contradiction. I love those little things that make me close my eyes hoping that this moment never ends yet asking when it will end. I love those little things that make me realize that along with bitterness, life offers tender sweetness. I love that shiver that takes over me when agony mingles with  joy, & when this delicate smile meets up with tears. I may resent the bitterness in it, like the sweetness in it but I will always always love it bittersweet. 

The Flyophobic

My eyes widened as I watched him spread his wings, flit around, fly back & forth creating huge circles in the air. The higher he flew, the tighter my claws clutched to the ground & the faster my heart beats raced in my chest. "What the heck is he thinking?!", I asked myself, "What could be that thing in flying that makes him risk his safety, his OWN LIFE?!!"

As all these thoughts rumbled in my mind, I felt a pat on my wing then a quiet confident voice called my name "Freeko! Hey, Freeko!!". I turned around to find him smiling at me, "When did he go down & come to my side?!",  another thought hit my head. "Hey!!" I chocked the word.

He (jokingly): Man, what's going on with you?!

I know I heard his question but I don't know why I didn't answer; it seemed like someone had put a spell on me or something.

His voice turned more serious when he talked again: Freeko, what's going on?! I'm your friend, man, you can talk to me.

It seemed like the magical spell was broken the thing that made me ask him: "Bondo', how do you feel when you're doing this? I mean, why are you risking your life for such thing?!"

He replied confusedly: What thing?!!

I snapped: FLYING!!!

It seemed like his confusion grew bigger as he asked: So your question is, Is flying worth risking my life for?

I replied quietly: Exactly.

He spun his head in complete disbelief & it seemed like he had hard time talking again: I can't get it, Freeko. We're BIRDS, remember?! Birds. We're designed to fly. We're all about flying & there's no such thing as risk when it comes to flying!!

I snapped: What!! Do you mean you don't fear falling down & dying?! You don't fear hitting against a high building or a big tree?! You don't fear getting drifted away by strong winds or blizzards?! You don't fear for yourself, your safety, your LIFE?!

He gave me a thorough gaze with a calm quiet comforting smile before he answered: No, I do fear for them all but does this have to stop me from flying?! Yes, I may fall down & die but isn't everybody destined to die after all?! And yes, I might hit against a high building or a big tree but also, I can stumble over a stone or a rock while walking here on the ground & get hurt, right?! And yes, I might get drifted away by winds but so might everybody. Don't you know?! Blizzards & winds could get so strong that people, trees, cars & even town could get swept away.

I sighed: What's your point?!

Well, he said, my point is that if you kept thinking about the dangers & the risks that might face you, you would never do what you're originally designed to do. You would never do your part in that world. You would never…Fly!! Then he stopped for a moment before he continued: Freeko, can I ask you something?!

"Sure" I said half-heartedly.

"Have you ever thought about what you could be missing by not flying?!"

"No!" I said under my breath.

He took a deep breath then looked at me "You're missing a lot, man. You're missing the wonderful blue skies, the breath-taking stars, the warmth of the sun, the moon light. You're missing a first-class seat from which you can watch that miraculous world with its unbelievable green fields, its silvery sparkling waters & its golden deserts. I'm not sure if you know about that but humans are willing to pay all they got for that seat that we originally have. You know my friend, all you need to do is defeat yourself & try to fly for once. Then & only then, you'll know what I'm talking about."

He spread his wings & went up high leaving me with my rumbling thoughts.